Feeding Time

Before I ever conceived I already knew I wanted to at least try breastfeeding.  My mother breastfeed all 5 of the children in our family, so I felt I could at least give it a shot.  However, I didn't realize how much there is to learn about the process.  There are multiple positions to hold the baby, techniques to latching, and even a suggested diet.  Once I did the research and weighed the pros and cons I decided it was worth dedicating my time and efforts to breastfeeding my child for the first year.  

However, there are unexpected nuances to breastfeeding that you do not realize until you start doing it. There is a tingling sensation that occurs when you first start breastfeeding that is hard to explain. For me it was uncomfortable, but bearable.  On the other hand, it was very painful for my friend who went through this process for the first time with me (her child is 6 weeks older than mine).  It was so painful for her that she was unable to bear feeding her child and opted to pump and feed her until the pain subsided. You are also the primary care taker when you breastfeed.  You can pump and allow the husband to bottle feed your child,but you will still be dedicating time to each feeding.  You also have to ensure you intake enough water and food on a daily basis, so your milk supply stays up.

Then if and when you return to work, pumping is a whole new ball game. First and foremost, the pump is not going to get it all out.  Therefore, make sure you are pumping in addition to feeding before returning to work.  Secondly, your baby is likely to eat more at the sitter.  Some mothers do not have a tough time keeping up.  I on the other hand am short by one feeding on a daily basis.  Thank goodness for the milk I stored before coming back to work.  It was enough to get me through to about 5 months before starting cereal.  My goal was 6 months, but no harm done and I got close.  If I stress out about it, my milk supply is even lower.  I tied Reglan to increase it, but that only works for a few days.  I also tried feeding my baby every 1-1/2 for an entire weekend, but still to no avail. Bottom line, she just eats more at the sitters.  It must be a comfort thing. ---- I do plan to try Mother's Milk Tea and possibly some other herbal options.  Will let you know how those pan out.

Huggies Blowout - Anyone?

Cloth diapering is one of the best decisions I have made.  I can not tell you hoe many outfits and how much time I have saved by simply using cloth diapers.  I have a friend who's child is having a Huggies blowout 2-3 times a day. She has to change not only the diaper, but the entire outfit and sometimes give her child a bath. I can honestly say that I have only had 2-3 blowouts since my child started using cloth diapers, which was at about 4 weeks old when she hit just over 7lbs.

I don't remember exactly why or when I decided I wanted to use cloth diapers on my children, but I did and once I make a decision I usually stick to it no matter what anyone else thinks. I started researching my options.  The only thing I remembered about cloth diapers were the original flat fold style my mom used in the 80's.  To my pleasant surprise there have been some very inventive "moms" out there who have come up with much more convenient and easy alternatives to the original cloth diaper. There are many styles to choose from, but after much research and deliberation I decided to go with an one size diaper. This style diaper will grow with your baby from 7  lbs to 35 lbs.  Once I decided the style of diaper I wanted to go with there were still more options.  (I never realized how much research motherhood required)  Ultimately, I settled for the Bum Genius Flip Diapering system. I chose the flip system because it was cheaper for me than the all in one options. I bought 6 covers and 32 inserts.  I wash diapers every third day.

Another benefit  to the Bum Genius Diapers is that they are easy to use.  They are comparable to disposable diapers, which makes them father and sitter friendly.  Once some of my friends saw the diapers and how they worked, they realized I was not crazy.  Some of them are actually on board with using them on their children.  Really, with the options available I do not know why anyone would use those horrendous disposable diapers.

Dogs vs Babies

I used to compare my dogs to having children.  I know it must have driven people crazy because no matter how much you treat your dogs like human units in the family, they are not the same as children.  Children require 24-7 attention.  They  can not feed themselves, change themselves, or entertain themselves.  Dogs can go outside to use the bathroom, graze from their food and water bowl, and most importantly preoccupy themselves at any given time.  Babies, on the other hand, require more work. You should read up on how to care for your baby and decide how you plan to feed them.  There are many resources out there that you can find for free on the internet.  You should also look up free newborn care classes in your area.  Some hospitals charge for them, but I was able to find a hospital system in my area that offered the classes for free and I learned a lot of valuable information.  If I had not taken these classes, I would be pulling my hair out with all the motherly advise I continue to get from people.  Plus, I know or would have been rushing my child to the hospital for nothing.  

Feeding a child for the first year or so requires a lot of work period! It doesn't matter if you decide to breastfeed or bottle feed, both options are time intensive.  You need to decide which method you want to use before your baby arrives. I choose to breastfeed.  This option does not require as many bottles, etc.  However, you need pumping and storage supplies.  I suggest registering for more of this type of stuff than bottles.  I registered for three styles of bottles and have too many in the cabinet that never get used. There are benefits to breastfeeding that never get mentioned in childcare classes.  For example, you are not washing bottles all the time and you have your babies food on hand at all times, so there really isn't a reason to pack a bottle. However, all of this saved time will be used for pumping and storing milk.

There are also many methods to train your child to develop a schedule.  There are time based models, parent directed, and child directed. I read about the different styles and tried to choose one and follow it.  However, I ended up using my own custom blend of the three styles and like what I have going with my little one’s schedule. She gets off track when she is going through a growth spurt, but otherwise she has progressed nicely.  The bottom line is you should do what makes you most comfortable!

Mad Pregnant Woman

My friend had a shower today (well I wrote this in March) and I am on a mad pregnant woman rant.   I want to know how is it that your friends with children can manage to forget what it was like when they had their first child and did not have anything for the baby?  It seems they are the most likely to buy you that too cute outfit or toy and pass up necessities like receiving blankets and bottles.  This just leaves you either taking it back to exchange it for necessities or having to buy them for yourself because they didn't give you a receipt.  I know that everyone wants to get you that something special, but let's be realistic.  In fact, there are great ways to package the necessities so that the gift is truly something special.  For example, get receiving blankets and have them embroidered with initials or cute phrases.  Another option is to get related necessities and package them together in a care style kit or basket and add something that makes it personal like bottles, nipples, etc, and some great breast feeding tips on a decorative note card.  After all, friends who have kids have the most to offer (valuable information). 

I don't want to sound ungrateful, but what is the point of a registry if no one is going to buy anything off of it.  And who thinks that babies only need cute outfits.  Most of the time they are in onsies because they are easier to clean, take on and off, and change a diaper in.  In reality, most of the cute outfits never get worn because there are not enough special occasions.  Furthermore, it puts the mother in an awkward situation when the gift giver asks about the outfit and you have to lie and say oh she wore it just the other day.  It would be much easier to tell them how great and useful that tub, washcloths, or blankets have been.

Sex or No Sex

Actually, one of the most exciting things my husband and I experienced throughout my pregnancy was not finding out the sex of our baby.  The anticipation of what we were going to have kept us on the edge of our seat.  It was also fun for people to guess what we were having.  Most people thought I was having a boy because of the way I carried or gained weight.  So many people told me that I was having a boy that towards the end I though it might be.  Many people accursed us of knowing the sex and not telling them.  One of my husband's grandmothers actually thought she was the only one we were keeping the sex from as if it were some kind of cruel joke.

My husband and I had fun coming up with names for both sexes.  It was also helpful for us in the budget department because we did not buy a bunch of stuff for our baby before it arrived and what we did buy was gender neutral so we can use it for future children.  I can guarantee you that if we had known the sex we would have gone pink or blue crazy.

It was a great surprise when we found out our little one was a girl.  Many people were shocked because so many thought it was definitely a boy. They also thought I knew it was a boy and it was fun to see their faces when they found out they were wrong.

Another perk to not knowing the sex was that people did not feel inclined to buy clothes for the baby as gender neutral is hard to find and not as appealing as that oh so cute dress.  I actually received things I needed for the baby at my shower like bottles, diapers, bath time stuff, etc.  I have a friend that knew she was having a girl and received mostly clothes for her baby shower and hardly any of the stuff she registered for.

Pregnancy - What to really expect when expecting!

I am not sure how I managed to make it to almost 30 and not really understand what to expect when expecting. My mother has 5 children from 4 pregnancies; almost all of my friends had children in their early to mid 20’s. Yet somehow no one informed me of all the crazy mood swings and plethora of other problems that come up while you are pregnant. I realize that every pregnancy is different, but at the very least your friends should share their experiences. They tell you that you get mood swings, but they do not explain what it is really like. No one explained the bond I would make with my unborn child. They tell you that it happens, but why not share it in great detail. I know that every pregnancy is different, but I have had a lot of pregnant friends and family, so I feel like I would have been let in on a little more of the secrets. My first trimester was pure hell. I can tell you one thing my close friends that do not have children will be fully informed.

We or I should say I am a planner and had planned to get pregnant between 28 and 32 since the time I was 22.  Once we decided to get pregnant, we had a little trouble.  I was not ovulating.  Finally, we got pregnant in the 10th month, October, of trying.  I did not want to be pregnant in the heat of summer, but someone else had a better plan for me and our unborn child. When I found out I was pregnant, I text my husband a picture of the positive pregnancy test.  This was the first of many mistakes we made along the way.  My husband apparently had asked me to tell him in person.  However, during all the excitement I forgot this tiny detail.  This was likely the starting point of all our troubles as my husband is like a lot of women and holds grudges. During my first trimester my husband and I could not get along. Neither of us knew what it would really be like and could not come to terms with it.  I was tired all of the time and I am typically a very busy person.  My husband could not get used to this.  This was just the icing on the cake, it added to all the other pressures of pregnancy.

There are so many things to think about when you are pregnant.  First you have all the reading and preparation for pregnancy and what to expect. I am telling you now to take everything with a grain of salt.  A lot of it is common sense, but when you are pregnant for the first time you are nervous and want everything to go off without a hitch.

Baby Registrys

Building a registry for a baby shower is not like registering for your wedding.  For a wedding registry, you can just scan for a bunch of stuff you would like to have.  When you are registering for a baby you actually have to think about what you are registering for.  I suggest you take a friend, measuring tape, 8lb weight, snacks, and give yourself plenty of time.  It may actually take multiple trips as you will likely change your mind about something you have registered for.  You will need to make sure you register for the right number of blankets, number and size of onsies, various nipple flows, and baby gear items.  You will need time to play with all of the products to make sure you like how they operate.  Nothing is worse than registering for that great looking travel system and finding out you don't like it because it doesn't fold like you want it to, work for your height, isn't easy to use, or worst of all the stroller will not fit in your trunk. You will also need to decide on a style of stroller, if you want to use a travel system or convertible car seat.  This does not even break the tip of the iceberg. You have to decide whether you want to go cloth or disposable on diapers, breast or formula feed, etc.  You get the hint.  Plan on several trips and lots of reading up and discussion with your mate on the options throughout the registry process.  And yes make sure you involve your significant other.  My husband initially thought he did not care about any of this stuff and it would be up to me.  However, after my shower he started asking questions like why don't we have a car seat like some of our friends.  Ultimately, he complained until we spent more money on a different style of car seat that he felt was easier to use.

Before you even begin to register you will need to do a little research and decide on the style and types of products you want.  However, sometimes too much research can begin information overload or you will go to the store and find out those options are not available in your area and it will cost you more to get these items shipped or they are not convenient for your friends to purchase as gifts. Stores will also suggest you register for training potties, learning toys for older ages, and larger quantities of items than are really practical.  In reality, who has the room to store this stuff in their house until the time when their child actually uses it.  Once you have the swings, bouncy seats, clothes, blankets, crib, dresser, bath tub, play time mats, bassinet, and pack and play; your house is already exploding at the seams in baby paraphernalia. Relax and just wait on some of the items they will not need until they are older because someone is bound to buy it for them for Christmas or their birthday.  Therefore, try to keep an open mind throughout the process and do not take the tags off anything because you will be returning a lot of it.